There are three main ways to be married in Colorado: with a religious ceremony, a civil ceremony or self-solemnization. And perhaps before we go any further it might be worthy to note that the word solemnize means to perform a ceremony. It’s an uncommon word to run into, but you may hear it see it now and again particularly with regard to self-solemnization, but more about that later.

You have many choices as to who can marry you: a friend, a family member, a professional wedding officiant, a religious minister, a judge, a court magistrate, or if you like, you just perform the ceremony yourselves. Now I know that it sounds like just about anyone can do this, right? Well, kind of. Let’s take them one at a time…

A Friend or Family Member

Yes, common folk can marry people, * if * they are ordained through a legally approved religious organization. What does it mean to be ordained? Well, it means that the religious organization has your name on file as being authorized to perform religious rites and in our specific case, marriages. Now being ordained is a process defined by each religion. Some religions require years of training and theologic study. Others religions only require filling out an online form. Being provided credentials and certificates is fine and decorative, but the true legal value is being on their list as an ordained member of their clergy. So if you want a friend or family member to marry you, they will need to get ordained. We have a whole other page dedicated to getting ordained here, so check that out for more information. 

Pros

• You know them, they know you.
• They can tell stories and jokes in your ceremony that are likely to resonate with you and your guests.
• It can be a wonderful honor to be asked to perform a ceremony.
• They typically work without charging you a fee.

Cons

• They may rely too much on what they know about you and too little about how to actually perform a ceremony.
• Unless they know both of you and your friends/families equally well, the ceremony could feel one-sided.
• It may feel good to you, but it may be a burden to them.
• They don’t have the experience or skills to navigate or prevent wedding related issues.

A Professional Wedding Officiant

Here is a little allegory that might help you understand what a professional wedding officiant has to offer…

A town’s electricity generator failed and various engineers were unable to fix it, so an elderly professor was summoned. He examined the generator carefully, then tapped it lightly once with a hammer, and power was instantly restored. He submitted his bill for $10,000. The plant manager was furious. How could it cost $10,000? He demanded an explanation. In return the professor sent over an itemized bill: Tapping with a Hammer – $1. Knowing where to Tap — $9,999. 

While being a professional wedding officiant isn’t quite that extreme, it’s is worthy to note what you’re actually paying for is their experience and the hard work they do preparing and honing their craft. There is a common thought and struggle among those getting married that this is their ‘first time’ actually planning a wedding. We would like to challenge that approach and suggest that you think of this as the ‘last time’ you are actually planning a wedding. You get one shot to do this and, if your love is strong, you’ll never do it again. That being said, do you want this big moment in your lives to be handled by someone with no experience or lots of experience? But do be aware that professional wedding officiants come in two types: the professors that know where to tap and the various other clueless engineers. You will have to put some effort into finding a good one.

Pros

• Good ones have the experience and skills to navigate or prevent wedding related issues.
• One bad review can sink their whole business, so they are motivated to make you happy.
• Good ones know the difference between a good ceremony and a bad one and can help you make good choices.
• Good ones have lots of resources at their disposal and can calm your nerves by answering any questions you may have.
• Good ones have skills that extend past just the performance of the ceremony. They can help with pinning on boutonnieres, lining up the processional, setting up audio equipment, etc.  

Cons

• Good ones charge what they are worth.
• It can be strange to share this intimate moment with someone you’ve barely met.
• The stories and jokes they may tell in your ceremony may or may not resonate with you and your guests.
• You need to put forth some effort and find a good one.

A Judge or Court Magistrate

We will admit to some ignorance here. Civil ceremonies are generally smaller, courthouse events that rarely involve other wedding vendors. But nothing we know of prevents judges or court magistrates from traveling to your wedding destination and doing a great job. The biggest challenge is that they are hard to find. They are not legally allowed to advertise online and as a result you won’t be able to see reviews from people who liked or disliked their service. While we are well traveled in the Colorado wedding industry we have encountered very few judges. If you are interested in finding a Judge or Court Magistrate, talk to a County Clerk and Recorder in the area you’re looking to get married and they should be able to help you.

Pros

• Good ones have the experience and skills to navigate or prevent wedding related issues.
• Good ones have lots of resources at their disposal and can calm your nerves by answering any questions you may have. 

Cons

• They are hard to find and evaluate as they are not legally allowed to advertise online.
• Because they are not allowed to advertise online, you can’t review them. Thereby, they don’t have a professional motivation to make you happy.
• Performing wedding ceremonies are not their main job and if something else comes up your ceremony could be delayed or cancelled.
• Their ceremonies are likely to be more bare bones than personalized to your desires.
• It can be strange to share this intimate moment with someone you’ve barely met.
• The stories and jokes they may tell in your ceremony may or may not resonate with you and your guests.
• You need to put forth a lot of effort to find a good one.

Yourselves

It’s perhaps worthy to note that there can be a difference between who performs the ceremony and who signs the license. If you prefer your marriage not not be tied to a religion, you can still have a friend, family member, professional wedding officiant or judge perform the ceremony in whatever way you like and then you can self-solemnize the marriage license. Or alternatively, you can choose not to have someone else perform the ceremony and the two of you can just do it yourselves. Certainly, doing it yourselves lacks the traditional style, but traditions change based on what people choose to do. 

Pros

• You’ll get what you put into it.
• Your stories and jokes will feel more intimate coming from the two of you than someone else.
• You can get exactly what you want.
• Financially it costs you nothing.

Cons

• You will have to do the research and legwork to figure out how to perform a ceremony.
• Depending on how you do it and outside of the vows (if you decide to write your own), no part of the ceremony will feel fresh or be a surprise.
• If you get anxious or nervous, it’s still on you to perform.
• You won’t have the experience or skills to navigate or prevent wedding related issues.